I Don't Either

When I asked you to marry me and you said no
I just wanted you to know

That I didn’t mean it.

That I should want us together, it was not so
So you might as well go
Just turn on your heels
There will be no appeals
No lamenting no squeals -just satisfaction

On my part

That you should actually work on the supposition
That my absurd proposition -was serious
I said it for a laugh, it was a joke and a half

And you were the victim.

It would feel just like dying
To have your tights draped about drying
And shoes littering every cupboard floor
And however many you have, always needing more

And the fights over whether the toilet seat should be up or down

When up it would prompt you to mutter and glower
But when down it might be inadvertently showered
And you’d want children , now, that would not be any fun
Because genetically it’s best that of you there’s just one

It’s over, how can I hold any strong passion
For someone committed to last year’s fashions
Someone who should have discovered what make- up was for
Someone for whom Trinny and Susanah would have shown – the door.

I don’t want you any more, the memories are raw, too sore

My mother had warned me that you were not good enough
That you were simply not made of marryable stuff
Your motorbike tattoo forced me into conceding
That you may not have been a woman of the requisite breeding

And your deep bronzed tan came from cans not Cannes
A walking advertisement for downmarket brands
Your highlights are fading just like my love for you
Your roots like your soul are now exposed, as I tell you we are through

I have someone else lined up you see
Someone younger, slimmer, lither
So when you say to me “I Don’t”, I reply, “Well I don’t, either”